Thirty-Four Elephants

Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person's physical, emotional, and mental states.  --Carol Welch Yesterday I began the 30 day journey that is Jillian Michaels , "Making the Cut." This is my second attempt at this program, the first time I completed 28 pretty flawless days and lost about 9lbs. It was great time and I got to do most of it with two other people. Jillian's workouts are tough, and when I first started I could barely get through the 5 circuit nightmare. She pairs the workout regimen with a pretty strict but manageable diet. I never felt hungry, but I often ran out of time to prepare. This second trip is intended to be from yesterday until Christmas day with a week break while I'm home and on vacation from work. Then starting back up 1/4-1/19. I want to lose 9 lbs before the S uperbowl . Five before Christmas, and 4 after. I will not completely quit working out during that week break, but I'm trying to be realistic about...

“When we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So it is better to speak.”  -- Audre Lorde . A little Audre to start the day because I have been so silent for so long. I'm there again, fighting the inertia that comes from letting the tawdry routine of life decide who I am. The more and more I start to realize that the redundancy of days is dictated by only myself, the more and more I can start creating something new. More than ever I'm reminded of how much I let fear dictate my experience. I don't write, I don't read, I don't play because I fear that I will not be good enough. In this way I prohibit myself from becoming better. From getting to a place that I can begin creating days that don't run together. To a place where I can create a person I can stand living with. I rely too heavily on other people to make me into something interesting, worthy. The ultimate risk is believin...